The Great Chili Cook-Off Caper
EXT. SIMPSONS' HOUSE - MORNING
A beautiful sunny day. Homer is in the front yard, enthusiastically putting up a decorative banner that reads, 'Chili Cook-Off Today!'
HOMER
(excited)
The big day is finally here! Chili, beer, and good times with friends! Marge, where did you put the keys to the car? We can't be late for the cook-off!
INT. SIMPSONS' HOUSE - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Marge, Lisa, and Maggie are sitting at the kitchen table having breakfast. Bart is seen in the background preparing his secret chili recipe.
MARGE
(on the phone)
Hello, Helen, yes we'll bring the kids and some hot dogs. We'll see you there. Bye!
(to Homer)
Homer, they're where you always put them: on the kitchen counter!
HOMER
(oblivious)
Oh right!
BART
(evil laugh)
Once I win the Chili Cook-Off with my secret recipe, I will finally claim my rightful place as the Lord of Chili!
LISA
(skeptical)
Bart, don't you think that's a bit...dramatic?
BART
(mocking)
What do you know, Lisa? You don't even like chili!
MARGE
(disappointed)
I just hope it's not too spicy, Bart. Remember your father's incident last year?
EXT. SPRINGFIELD CHILI COOK-OFF - DAY
The town of Springfield gathers in a park for the annual Chili Cook-Off. Festive music plays and people are setting up their chili stations.
LENNY
Hey Homer, what kind of chili are you entering this year?
HOMER
The same chili as always! The kind Marge makes!
KENT BROCKMAN
(on camera)
Hello, Springfield! I'm Kent Brockman, reporting live from the annual Springfield Chili Cook-Off, where this year's competition is already heating up!
everyone in a huddle looking at Bart's 'super-secret chili', Chief Wiggum approaches
CHIEF WIGGUM
(confident)
Bart Simpson, I'll accept your chili challenge. May the best chili win!
BART
(smiling)
You're on, Chief!
HOMER
(puzzled)
Wait, where's Marge's chili?!
MARGE
(eager)
Don't worry, I've added Maggie's special ingredient. It's sure to be a hit!
Everyone submits their chili entries as the judges make their way around the contestants.
GRANDPA
(angry)
Back in my day, everyone respected a good chili cook-off!
NED
(enthusiastic)
Okilly dokilly, ready to judge some chili!
LISA
(sarcastic)
Can't wait to see how this turns out.
As the judges taste each chili, they cough, gasp, and even cry from the spiciness. They eventually reach Marge's chili.
JUDGE
(impressed)
Why, this is the best chili I've ever tasted! What's the secret ingredient?
MAGGIE
(silent, yet confident)
*lets out a small laugh*
TO BE CONTINUED
Springfield Time Machine
INT. SIMPSONS LIVING ROOM - DAY
The Simpsons are sitting on their couch, watching TV.
TV ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
And now, for the season premiere of 'Lil' Trojan Warriors!'
The show begins and everyone watches intently.
CUT TO:
INT. SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY - DAY
A SCIENTIST finishes setting up a mysterious device in front of BART'S CLASS.
SKINNER
Students, please welcome Springfield University's top scientist, Dr. Von Tesla, who has an incredible invention to show you!
DR. VON TESLA
Thank you, Principal Skinner. I present to you the prototype of the world's first time machine!
The class is wowed by the time machine. Bart eyes it mischievously.
CUT TO:
INT. SIMPSONS LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Everyone is still watching 'Lil' Trojan Warriors.'
HOMER
Unbelievable! Three straight days of our favorite show!
LISA
I don't know about you, but I can't get enough.
CUT TO:
INT. SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY - DAY
Bart sneaks into the school late at night and finds the time machine.
BART
Hehehe, what part of history am I going to mess up today?
Bart hops in, frantically sets the time dial, and disappears.
CUT TO:
EXT. ANCIENT SPRINGFIELD - DAY
Bart arrives in Ancient Springfield. He is seen wearing a toga, looking awestruck at the Colosseum.
BART
Whoa! I can't believe I'm in Ancient Springfield! This is so cool!
Bart wanders around, causing trouble, until he bumps into a YOUNG HOMER and a YOUNG MARGE.
YOUNG HOMER
Ugh! Watch it, man!
YOUNG MARGE
Honestly! Were you raised by barbarians?
BART (snickers)
You have no idea.
CUT TO:
INT. SIMPSONS LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
The Simpsons are in their pajamas, still glued to the TV.
MARGE
I have this strange feeling that something's wrong, but it doesn't seem like anything has changed.
LISA
True. Maybe we're just paranoid from all this TV.
SUDDENLY, the image on their television statics, then changes to news footage of the Colosseum.
KENT BROCKMAN (V.O.)
Breaking news! An ancient coliseum has been discovered in Springfield overnight!
HOMER
I don't remember that!
LISA (panicking)
This can't be right. Something's off!
MARGE
I knew it! That feeling wasn't just from watching too much TV. Something's wrong! We have to fix this!
TO BE CONTINUED
Mystery at the Museum
EXT. SIMPSONS' HOUSE - DAY
An establishing SHOT of the house, with Bart and Lisa PLAYING in the front yard.
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
Marge is tidying up on the living room floor while Homer sits on the couch READING the newspaper.
MARGE
Homer, are you going to help with the cleaning or just sit there?
HOMER
(passively)
I'm gathering information so I can stay up to date on the latest breakthroughs in sitting technology.
Marge SHAKES her head and continues folding clothes.
INT. KITCHEN - DAY
Bart and Lisa ENTER the kitchen, out of breath.
BART
Mom, Dad, you wouldn't believe it! We found a treasure map inside an old book at the Springfield Library.
HOMER
That's ridiculous. There's no such thing as treasure maps.
Lisa takes out a weathered, ancient MAP from her bag.
LISA
We were doing research for a class project, and we came across the Journal of Jebediah Springfield. Look, it leads to a hidden gem at the Springfield History Museum.
MARGE
Oh, I've been wanting to visit that museum. Can we all go as a family?
Homer SIGHS as everyone drags him off the couch.
INT. SPRINGFIELD HISTORY MUSEUM - DAY
The Simpsons enter the museum. Mr. Burns makes an announcement ahead of them.
MR. BURNS
Attention, everyone! I'm donating this valuable artifact called the 'Precious Pioneers Ruby', which has been in the Burns family for generations. A new exhibit will be open later today for public viewing.
Smithers stands nearby, admiring the ruby.
SMITHERS
An exquisite gem, sir.
Bart and Lisa look at each other, excited.
BART
So that's the treasure we're looking for!
LISA
Let's follow the map and find the treasure before the exhibit opens.
As the family search throughout the museum, we see various Springfield characters as exhibit guides and visitors.
EXT. MUSEUM - BACK STORAGE ROOM - DAY
They follow the map to the back storage room, spotting the Precious Pioneers Ruby.
BART
Wow, there it is! Homer, give me a boost.
Homer helps Bart grab the ruby.
HOMER
Are we stealing?
LISA
No, we're discovering history!
MARGE
What are we going to do with it?
Bart, Lisa, and Marge discuss their plans, but their conversation is INTERRUPTED by a LUMBERING SHADOW behind them.
HOMER
(terrified)
Uh, guys? I think someone else wants the ruby.
TO BE CONTINUED.
The Springfield Marathon
EXT. SIMPSONS' HOUSE - DAY
Homer, Bart and Lisa are lounging in the front yard. Lisa reads a newspaper.
LISA: (excited) You guys, look! Stillwaters Women’s Half-marathon will take place in Springfield this weekend!
HOMER: (sarcastic) Great news! Who runs half a marathon? It's like participating in competitive eating and only eating half a pizza.
BART: Yeah! It's like telling half a joke... Knock, knock!
LISA: It's important for female empowerment and fitness, okay? Plus, a charity event is bound to bring the whole town together.
INT. SIMPSONS' LIVING ROOM - DAY
The family discusses the marathon.
MARGE: I agree with Lisa. Maybe I'll sign up too. I could definitely use a change of pace.
HOMER: (laughs) Marge, the only speed you have is 'mom speed'.
BART and LISA: (together) Mom speed!
MARGE: I'll show you! I'm signing up and I'm going to finish that marathon!
Lisa and Marge fist bump in solidarity.
INT. MOE'S TAVERN - DAY
Homer, Lenny, Carl and Moe laugh at the idea of Marge and Lisa attempting to finish the marathon.
LENNY: I admire Marge's spirit, but seriously, there's no way they'll last.
CARL: I agree. Wanna bet on it?
HOMER: Let's make a bet! If Marge and Lisa don't complete the marathon, I'll... (laughs) do the laundry for a month!
MOE: (chuckles) A month? That's some high-stake laundry-load, Homer.
EXT. SPRINGFIELD MIDDLE SCHOOL - DAY
The marathon is about to start. Principal Skinner stands at the starting line with a whistle.
PRINCIPAL SKINNER: Welcome, ladies of Springfield! As your principal and honorary host of this race, I wish you a fierce battle!
The participants, including Marge and Lisa, cheer.
LISA: (whispers) Good luck, Mom.
MARGE: You too, sweetie. Let's show them what we're made of!
EXT. Springfield - VARIOUS SHOTS - DAY
The marathon begins. The women run, overcoming various obstacles: slippery patches of slime from Burns' Power Plant, Krusty Burger eating contests, mobsters chasing them out of the mafia's territory.
Homer and Bart watch as Marge and Lisa struggle in the marathon, betting they can't make it.
EXT. Springfield - VARIOUS SHOTS - DAY
Marge and Lisa continue to push forward, supporting each other. They surpass numerous contestants.
This does not go unnoticed by Homer and Bart, who watch in amazement.
HOMER: Uh-oh, my laundry laziness days might be numbered...
TO BE CONTINUED
The Simpsons: Moe's Big Adventure
EXT. SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY - DAY
Establishing shot of Springfield Elementary. A banner floats above the entrance that reads: Field Trip Day!
INT. BUS - DAY
Bart and Lisa sit with their friends. Bart looks mischievous, holding a can of spray-paint patterned with Jasper's beard.
BART
Hehehe, I call this 'Beards for Backpacks'.
Bart quickly sprays a beard on Milhouse's backpack.
MILHOUSE
Hey, stop that!
LISA
Really, Bart? Today is supposed to be fun! I can't wait to see the museum.
EXT. FIELD TRIP DESTINATION - DAY
Establishing shot of Itchy and Scratchy: The Ride, outside of which Homer and Marge wait for the bus. Marge inspects the pamphlets.
MARGE
Homer, I thought this was a museum trip?
HOMER
D'oh! Trust Flanders to organize a fun trip!
Marge looks at Homer disapprovingly.
INT. MOE'S TAVERN - DAY
Moe is mixing a drink; Lenny, Carl, Barney, and other regulars are seated. Announcer plays on the TV.
ANNOUNCER (ON TV)
Congratulations to Moe's Tavern, the winner of the City's Cleanest Bar Award! Remember, the award ceremony is tonight!
Lenny, Carl, and Barney offer a toast and drink.
LENNY
Congratulations, Moe!
CARL
Yeah, man. You earned it!
MOE
Thanks, guys. I never thought this dump would win anything.
INT. BUS - DAY
The bus stops abruptly, causing everyone to jolt forward.
SKINNER
(change of plans, children.
Principal Skinner checks a letter hesitantly.
SKINNER (CONT'D)
Ahem, change of plans, children. It appears that the museum booked the wrong week for their cleaning closure.
The children collectively groan.
SKINNER (CONT'D)
But fear not, we have come up with a last-minute alternative. Welcome to...'The History of Springfield's Bars and Taverns' guided tour!
Bart and Lisa exchange concerned looks.
EXT. MOE'S TAVERN - DAY
The bus pulls up across the street from Moe's. The Simpsons exit the bus and stare in surprise at their new destination.
HOMER
(eyes widen) Woo-hoo!
MARGE
Really, Homer? A bar tour?
LISA
Yuck, what a field trip this turned out to be.
BART
At least we're not at the museum, right? Besides, I can still use my 'Beards for Backpacks'.
INT. MOE'S TAVERN - DAY
Tour guide enters with the group, introduces Moe.
TOUR GUIDE
And our first stop, Moe's Tavern! Home of the ever-so-tasty Flaming Moe and tonight's winner for Springfield's Cleanest Bar Award!
The Simpsons' jaws drop. Moe beams with pride.
TOUR GUIDE (CONT'D)
Let's welcome the owner of Moe's Tavern… Moe Szyslak!
Moe addresses the students with a sense of genuine excitement.
MOE
Hey there, kids. Today, I'm gonna show you around my tavern and share a secret or two about the bar business. Who knows, maybe one of you might just end up being a bartender someday.
Bart looks at Lisa passing a smirk.
LISA
(whispering) Not a chance.
TO BE CONTINUED
A Springfield Surprise
EXT. SIMPSONS' HOUSE - DAY
The Simpsons' house shines in the Springfield sun. Their front lawn hosts a yard sale with people browsing the items.
HOMER (smiling)
Step right up, folks! Everything must go!
MARGE (worried)
Are you sure about this, Homie?
HOMER
Absolutely! We've got too much junk, Marge. It's time to make room for new junk.
BART (laughing)
I can't believe someone actually bought my Krusty doll with a missing eye.
LISA (considering)
Maybe we can use the money we raise for a family vacation or donate it to a charity.
At that moment, a mysterious van pulls up. Labeled 'Professor Von Schlopp's Museum of Oddities and Wonders'. An eccentric old man jumps out carrying a large chest.
PROFESSOR VON SCHLOPP
Ah, the Simpsons! My perfect test subjects. I have here a chest of treasures from my travels. How about I give it to you for the low price of all your yard sale earnings?
HOMER (excited)
Marge, this is perfect! It's exactly the kind of new junk we need!
MARGE (sighs)
Alright, Homie. If it makes you happy...
The Simpsons gather around the chest, each taking a mysterious item.
BART
Whoa! This weird skateboard looks like it belonged to some kind of pirate!
LISA
What an odd violin... It seems to be made from a single piece of wood.
MAGGIE (sucking pacifier)
Pffrrrrrrlt!
Maggie pulls out a strange looking rattle.
HOMER (excited)
And check out this vintage beer can! It's like it was made just for me!
Shortly after, the family is inside the living room.
LISA
What are we going to do with these things?
HOMER
Who cares? They're ours now!
That evening, mysterious events start occurring with the odd items. Bart's skateboard moves on its own, Lisa's violin plays strange melodies, and Maggie's rattle seems to be hypnotizing Santa's Little Helper.
HOMER
Hey, Marge. Do you think these are magical items?
MARGE (unconvinced)
I don't know about magic, Homie, but they do seem to be pretty... different.
LISA (holding her violin)
I can't stop thinking about it. What if there's more to these things than we thought?
TO BE CONTINUED
