The Mighty Boosh: Galactic Funk Odyssey
INT. THE BOOSH SHOP - DAY
Vince Noir (VINCE), a flamboyant, trendy individual, stands behind the counter while Howard Moon (HOWARD), a dorkier, jazz enthusiast, sorts through a box of records nearby. The two are engaged in a conversation.
VINCE: Howard, did you hear the new Space Funk 9 album? Absolute banger, mate. It’s got classic Zooniverse sounds but with this mad-crazy intergalactic twist.
HOWARD: Vince, I implore you, please. Funk music leads to spontaneous outbursts of dancing and distractions, and as a jazz enthusiast, I simply can’t condone such activities.
VINCE: (Smirking) You're just jealous 'cause no one does the Charleston on the moon.
HOWARD: (Sighs) It's not jealousy, Vince. It's dignity. Now, help me sort these records, will you?
Suddenly, the shamanic figure of NABOO appears, with BOLLO, his ape-like gorilla companion. They both seem excited.
NABOO: Vince, Howard, gather round! We’ve discovered something amazing. You’re not going to believe this! Bollo managed to intercept an alien transmission—it’s an invitation to the Galactic Council of Funk’s annual Gala!
VINCE: (Eyes wide) The Galactic Council of Funk? That’s like the crème-de-la-custard of galactic music! We’ve got to go, Howard! I can feel the funk in my bones already.
HOWARD: (Hesitant) I'm not so sure, Vince. Remember what happened last time we ventured into the unknown? We were almost eaten by a colony of super-intelligent crabs.
BOLLO: (Grinning) Actually, they weren’t so intelligent -- Burlap Crab Hammer, remember?
Everyone laughs except Howard.
HOWARD: (Sighs) Fine, Vince. But if we're going, I want to be prepared. I'll pack my Jazz Survival Kit.
VINCE: (Grinning) Cool, the funk-fueled space party awaits! Let's go, spacemen!
INT. HOWARD'S BEDROOM - DAY
Vince, Howard, Naboo, and Bollo are gathering the necessary equipment for their space adventure. Howard is frantically searching for something in his room.
HOWARD: Blast it! My Space Compass that belonged to Rudy Van DiSarzio! It’s gone missing! Vince, have you seen it?
VINCE: (Distracted, trying on a shiny space jacket) Sorry, Howard, haven’t seen it. You worry too much. As long as we have the invitation, we’ll find our way.
HOWARD: (Mumbling) I’ll just have to use my jazz knowledge to navigate the stars.
NABOO: (Waving the invitation) We’re all set, lads. Let’s board my mystical van, and it’ll take us to the cosmos.
INT. NABOO’S MYSTICAL VAN - DAY
The four of them sit in the van, and Naboo starts the engine. The van rumbles and shakes, as Vince and Howard hold on for dear life.
VINCE: (Nervous) Are you sure this is going to work, Naboo?
NABOO: (Confident) Trust me, Vince. They don't call me 'Naboo the Enigma' for nothing! (He presses a button and the van leaps into space.)
TO BE CONTINUED
The Boosh Meets the Pharaoh
INT. ZOONIVERSE - DAY
Vince, the fashion-obsessed shaman, is picking up clothes scattered around the living area. Howard, the mild-mannered jazz enthusiast, is struggling with a pile of books.
Ugh, this place is a mess, Howard.
(under his breath)
Looks like someone had a wild wardrobe party.
Don't knock the wardrobe party, Howard! It's like Narnia, but with better clothes.
Naboo, the exasperated mystic, enters the room with Bollo, his ape sidekick.
Alright, you two, we have a mission. It can be dangerous, precarious, and quite possibly fatal.
Sounds exciting! What is it?
We must retrieve the long-lost scepter of the ancient Egyptian Pharaoh, Karanesset.
We go to Egypt?
Yes, Bollo. We must leave at once.
Egypt, you say? Land of mystery... and jazz.
And the birthplace of eyeliner. Count me in.
EXT. EGYPTIAN DESERT - DAY
The four travelers find themselves outside an ancient temple. Bollo carries a heavy bag of supplies.
Wow, look at this place. It's like a giant Dolce & Gabbana advert.
It's breathtaking. The history, the culture... the sand. So much sand.
We must be careful, the temple is said to be cursed.
INT. ANCIENT EGYPTIAN TEMPLE - DAY
As they explore the dimly lit corridors, Howard spots a hieroglyph of a figure playing the saxophone.
Oh, look! A fellow jazz artist. Vince, take a picture of me next to it.
As Howard poses, Vince accidentally trips a hidden switch. A secret door opens, revealing the Pharaoh's sacred chamber.
Oops... Just opened a door instead.
The team cautiously enters the chamber. There, on a pedestal, rests the scepter.
There it is. Grab it carefully, Howard.
Howard carefully retrieves the scepter. Suddenly, the Pharaoh KARANESSET himself appears. He is angry.
You dare to disturb my rest and steal the sacred scepter!
He seems upset. Must be because he's been dead for so long - can't be easy on the wardrobe.
Well, maybe I can play him a soothing jazz number?
No, that won't work. We need to escape!
The Pharaoh summons an army of mummified cats. The group must outsmart them and make a daring escape out of the temple.
TO BE CONTINUED.
The Dystopian Seahorse
INT. ZOONIVERSE - DAY
Vince (Noel Fielding) and Howard (Julian Barratt) are at the counter in the Zooniverse, dressed in their usual eccentric outfits. Vince is reading a bizarre fashion magazine, while Howard is scribbling in his notebook.
VINCE: (excited) Howard, check this out - Dystopian Seahorse Chic is the next big trend! I can totally pull this off.
HOWARD: (skeptical) Vince, you're always trying to make seahorses into a thing. It's not going to take off.
VINCE: Oh, you'll see. I'm going to be the envy of every fashionista.
Naboo (Michael Fielding) enters the room.
NABOO: (serious) Boys, I need your help. The Board of Shaman is after me for a mysterious artifact I've misplaced.
VINCE: Not now, Naboo. The seahorses are calling my name.
HOWARD: (intrigued) What kind of artifact are we talking about?
NABOO: It's the Amulet of Bazookdar, an ancient relic with unimaginable powers. I need you boys to help me find it before it falls into the wrong hands.
EXT. MYTHICAL BEACH - DAY
Vince, Howard, and Naboo are standing on a weird beach riddled with bizarre creatures and peculiar foliage.
VINCE: (bewildered) Where are we, Naboo?
NABOO: We've entered the Dimension of Bazookdar to locate the amulet. Keep your eyes peeled, and watch out for the Kalamazoos.
HOWARD: (panicky) Kalamazoos?! What are those?!
NABOO: No time to explain, just trust me, you don't want to run into one.
Vince excitedly spots a herd of seahorses, all dressed in dystopian attire.
VINCE: (gasps) Howard, look at these seahorses! They're dressed like they're in a Mad Max film. I knew it!
HOWARD: (irritated) Focus, Vince! This isn't about your fashion obsessions.
They search the beach when Vince trips over a peculiar object buried in the sand.
VINCE: (curious) What's this?
Howard and Naboo rush to Vince's side to uncover the object.
HOWARD: (excited) This looks like... The Amulet of Bazookdar! The Board of Shaman must have sent us into a trap, Vince.
NABOO: We need to get out of here. The Kalamazoos will be here any second.
They hear unearthly screeches in the distance, and fear sets in.
TO BE CONTINUED.
The Land of Forgotten Toys
INT. ZOONIVERSE - DAY
VINCE (to Howard): Remember our childhood toys, Howard? Sometimes I wish I could see them again.
HOWARD: Seriously, Vince? Nostalgia is for weaker minds.
VINCE: Oh, come on, it would be fun!
HOWARD: Fine. But nothing ever comes that easily.
INT. NABOO'S MAGIC ROOM - DAY
NABOO: I can transport you to the land of forgotten toys, but you must leave before nightfall or you'll be trapped there forever.
HOWARD: It's worth the risk. Anything to appease Vince's child-like whims.
VINCE (excited): Let's go, Howard!
NABOO (concerned): Be careful, and remember – leave before nightfall.
VINCE and HOWARD: Got it!
Naboo waves his hands, and they disappear in a puff of smoke.
EXT. LAND OF FORGOTTEN TOYS - DAY
Vince and Howard arrive in a land filled with misfit toys.
VINCE: This is amazing! Look at all these toys!
A toy soldier comes to life.
TOY SOLDIER: Who are you? And why have you come to our land?
HOWARD: We're here to revisit our childhood toys.
TOY SOLDIER: These toys have been abandoned and forgotten, you know. They might not be too happy to see you.
VINCE (ignoring warning): Come on, Howard! Let's find our toys!
EXT. DOLL SECTION - DAY
Vince and Howard make their way down an aisle of dolls.
VINCE: There, that's her! My sparkly unicorn doll, Dolores!
Dolores comes to life, looking sad and bitter.
DOLORES: So, now you want to play with me?
VINCE: Dolores, I'm so sorry I forgot about you...
HOWARD: Enough of this sentimental nonsense!
EXT. ACTION FIGURE SECTION - DAY
HOWARD: There it is, my favorite action figure... Colonel Danger!
Colonel Danger comes to life, equally upset.
COLONEL DANGER: You left me to collect dust! How could you?!
HOWARD (ashamed): I... I don't know what to say.
Suddenly, all the toys start to come to life, getting angrier and advancing towards Vince and Howard.
VINCE: We need to get out of here!
TO BE CONTINUED
The Mighty Boosh: The Surreal Sorcerer
INT. ZOONIVERSE OFFICE - NIGHT
Howard and Vince sit at their respective desks, engrossed in their work. Vince is doodling, while Howard pretends to read a book.
VINCE: (grinning) Howard, you've got to check out this drawing.
HOWARD: (putting down the book) What is it this time, Vince? A unicorn wearing stiletto boots?
VINCE: (laughing) Not quite. It's a sun-tanned penguin. Bit of a cheeky little fella, isn't he?
HOWARD: Just like you to come up with something so whimsical.
Just then, a loud bang interrupts their banter. A mystical, glowing figure appears in the room. It's the SURREAL SORCERER, looking ominous.
SURREAL SORCERER: (booming voice) Behold, I am the Surreal Sorcerer! I have come to challenge you to a test of creativity!
VINCE: (excited) No way! That's thrilling!
HOWARD: (hesitant) What kind of challenge?
SURREAL SORCERER: You shall each create the most surreal, bizarre, and imaginative creature the world has ever seen! The victor will earn the title of Surreal Supreme! But beware, the loser will face a fate most peculiar...
VINCE: (eager) What's the catch?
SURREAL SORCERER: You have 24 hours to create your creatures. Choose your medium wisely. Your time starts now!
The Sorcerer disappears in a cloud of mystic smoke.
VINCE: (energetic) Howard, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! We can't waste it by doing something boring!
HOWARD: I agree, but this doesn't seem normal. Why would a sorcerer come to challenge us?
VINCE: (nonchalant) Oh, come on! It's just a bit of harmless fun.
INT. ZOONIVERSE ART ROOM - DAY
Vince is madly sketching and coloring, while Howard hovers undecidedly over various art supplies.
VINCE: (deep in thought) What about a giraffe with the head of a snake? Wait, even better - a giraffe that can blow perfect smoke rings out of its ears!
HOWARD: (rolling eyes) Vince, you lack focus. (pauses) Have you considered the cons-
VINCE: Hang on, what about an octopus with saxophones for arms? Or a crab with an arsenal of firecrackers?!
HOWARD: (exasperated) Fine! I'm going to create a creature with a touch of class and deep, moral undertones. You'll see!
INT. ZOONIVERSE ART ROOM - NIGHT
Vince and Howard finish their creature creations in the nick of time. Vince has drawn an astonishingly psychedelic creature, a mix of several animals and objects. Howard, after much sweating and contemplation, has assembled a mysterious, anthropomorphic bird-like sculpture.
VINCE: (proudly) I present to you, the Transcendent Tamarillo! It lives in a world of eternal rainbows, and its laughter creates music!
HOWARD: (smugly) Please, meet Mr. Featherolo. He has no mouth and communicates solely through telepathy. He's always thoughtful and speaks of great wisdom.
The Surreal Sorcerer reappears, intrigued by their artworks.
SURREAL SORCERER: (impressed) Excellent work! But this is not the end. Now, your creations must compete in a challenge... TO BE CONTINUED!
The Lost Dimension
INT. NABOOTIQUE - DAY
Vince and Howard are in the middle of an argument, while Naboo and Bollo watch them from behind the counter.
C'mon, Howard. I'm telling you, these interdimensional space trousers are the next big thing! They can teleport you anywhere you want. It's gonna revolutionize fashion!
Vince, you're spouting nonsense again. Teleportation trousers won't ever happen. It's not possible!
(rolls his eyes)
You always say that, Howard. Can't you see the future?
As someone who likes to stay grounded in reality, I can safely say that teleportation has no place in fashion.
Just then, a MYSTERIOUS FIGURE enters the shop, wearing a pair of odd-looking TROUSERS.
Excuse me, lads, but I couldn't help overhearing your debate here. I... I have something you might want to see.
The mysterious figure reveals his stunning trousers.
(referring to the trousers)
Now that's what I'm talking about, Howard! Check it out!
(eyeing the trousers)
Those trousers... they have magical powers. I can feel it.
Just because they have some fancy design doesn't mean they actually work. Let's see you prove it.
The mysterious figure hesitates for a moment.
I must warn you, these trousers are not to be taken lightly. They can be... unpredictable.
As if to prove his point, the mysterious figure wears the trousers and suddenly vanishes, leaving Vince, Howard, Naboo, and Bollo in shock.
Meanwhile, in the lost dimension...
INT. LOST DIMENSION - DAY
OLD GREGG, now miserably trapped and desperate, paces back and forth in a bizarre, unsettling landscape. He stumbles upon a VORTEX DEVICE hidden in the ground.
Aha! Finally! My escape!
Back at the Nabootique...
INT. NABOOTIQUE - DAY
OLD GREGG suddenly appears through the store's doors, staggering in triumphantly.
I'm free! I'm finally free!
The gang is startled and confused by Old Gregg's sudden appearance.
What have you done? You've unleashed the dangerous forces of the Lost Dimension!
What do we do, Naboo?
I don't know, Vince. This is beyond anything I've ever experienced.
This is bad. This is really, really bad.
TO BE CONTINUED
The Galactic Zooniverse
INT. THE BOOSH APARTMENT - DAY
VINCE NOIR (dressed in a metallic space suit, humming glam rock tune) is packing clothes and other items. HOWARD MOON enters, reading a book.
You know, Vince, quantum mechanics suggests that the act of observing an object directly impacts its reality. Really makes you think, doesn't it?
Yeah, Howard, like owls. Owls are always looking at things, and those things definitely exist...like mice.
(sighs) You didn't understand a word I just said, did you?
Not really, no. Anyway, I'm packing for our trip to the Galactic Zooniverse!
The what now?
Galactic Zooniverse, Howard! It's like a zoo and a universe combined. We've been hand-selected by the Zooniverse Council to represent Earth at their annual Intergalactic Animals Conference.
(smirks) And you didn't tell me because...?
Well, I wanted to surprise you, didn't I? Oh, by the way, you need a space suit too. Naboo said there's a strict dress code.
(sarcastic) A strict dress code in space? Brilliant.
INT. THE BOOSH APARTMENT - LATER
Howard and Vince, both in space suits, stand before NABOO THE ENIGMA and BOLLO THE GORILLA.
NABOO THE ENIGMA
All right, Howard, Vince, in order to reach the Galactic Zooniverse, we have to summon the Cosmic Ark. It's a very intense process involving shamanic chanting and rhythmic beats.
BOLLO THE GORILLA
(warily) Yeah, man. No joking around this time.
(to Howard) Don't look at me, I'm taking this seriously.
(relative enthusiasm) Let's do it!
EXT. THE BOOSH ROOFTOP - NIGHT
Naboo, Bollo, Howard, and Vince stand around a circle of candles, attempting to summon the Cosmic Ark. They chant together, creating a steady rhythm.
Suddenly, the circle glows bright purple and a massive, psychedelic-looking spaceship materializes, hovering above them.
(awestruck) Wow...I can't believe it actually worked.
(frowning) I think that's the first time any of your ludicrous ideas actually panned out.
The group enters the Cosmic Ark, and it launches into the sky, disappearing into the night.
EXT. GALACTIC ZOONIVERSE - LATER
The Cosmic Ark deposits them on an incredible, exotic planet teeming with bizarre alien life. They are greeted by a peculiar-looking ALIEN HOST.
(cheerful) Greetings, Earthlings! Welcome to the Galactic Zooniverse. We hope you will enjoy your stay and learn from your fellow beings across the cosmos.
(sternly) As long as there are no owls...or unnecessary dangers.
(smiling) Come on. Let's explore.
As they venture further into the Galactic Zooniverse, they come across strange creatures, exhibits, and other bizarre forms of life.
TO BE CONTINUED.