A Creek Reunion
INT. ROSEBUD MOTEL LOBBY - DAY
JOHNNY, MOIRA, DAVID, and ALEXIS take one last look at the lobby as they say their goodbyes to STEVIE.
JOHNNY
Well, I must say, Stevie, you've done a wonderful job turning this place into a five-star hotel.
STEVIE
(smiling)
Thank you, Johnny. But let's not get carried away, it's still a three-star at best.
MOIRA
Oh, Stevie, my rose-tinted darling, what will we do without your penchant for dry wit?
DAVID
(sniffling)
Do you think I could fit this chair in my carry-on?
ALEXIS
Ew, David. Honestly, is that all you're thinking about?
DAVID
I'm just saying, it would look good in our living room.
JOHNNY
Alright, everyone, we have a long drive ahead of us, so let's hit the road.
They exit the motel lobby.
EXT. ROSEBUD MOTEL - DAY
They all stand outside, one last time, reminiscing.
JOHNNY
You know, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm going to miss this place.
MOIRA
(nodding)
Indeed. There's something oddly enchanting about Schitt's Creek.
Just then, ROLAND pulls up in a golf cart, adorned with decorations that spell 'WELCOME BACK ROSES!'.
ROLAND
(grinning)
Surprise! We're throwing you a little farewell party at Town Hall! It's the least we could do for our favorite ex-millionaires.
DAVID
Roland, we appreciate the gesture, but we really need to get on the road...
MOIRA
(whispering)
David, one last soirée to soak up the town's love couldn't hurt.
ALEXIS
(clearly excited)
Yeah, I mean, it's not like we'll ever have another goodbye party in Schitt's Creek again.
JOHNNY
(smiling)
Alright, just a quick stop at Town Hall, and then we're on our way.
INT. TOWN HALL - DAY
Everyone is in high spirits, enjoying the party. JOCELYN and TWYLA are chatting with MOIRA.
JOCELYN
So, where are you guys off to?
MOIRA
Well, Jocelyn, my big city life is calling me back! 'Sunrise Bay' has offered me an exclusive contract.
TWYLA
Wow, that's amazing, Mrs. Rose!
PATRICK and DAVID are in a corner, tearfully saying their goodbyes.
PATRICK
I can't believe you're leaving, David. It feels like yesterday that we opened our store together.
DAVID
(smiling through tears)
Thank you for being my rock, Patrick. Promise you'll come visit?
PATRICK
Of course, David. Just don't forget us little people when you're all famous and stuff.
RONNIE and RAY come up to JOHNNY.
RONNIE
We just wanted to say, Johnny Rose, it's been a hell of a ride having you in town.
RAY
And don't worry about the motel. Stevie's got it all under control. We have a great business plan.
JOHNNY
Thank you, both, for everything. This town has given me more than I ever could have imagined.
Later, as the party winds down, the Roses gather near the exit.
JOHNNY
Alright, everyone, it's time to say our final goodbyes to Schitt's Creek.
DAVID
I never thought I'd say this, but part of me really doesn't want to leave.
ALEXIS
Me neither, but we've got big things ahead of us, you guys.
The Roses say their goodbyes to the townspeople and exit Town Hall.
EXT. TOWN HALL - DAY
The Roses load up the car and start to drive away. They look back at the townspeople waving goodbye.
MOIRA
(to her family)
Alright, one last time. Whose creek?
JOHNNY, DAVID, and ALEXIS
(excited)
SCHITT'S CREEK!
As they drive off, the landscape begins to change. Unbeknownst to them, they'll be back sooner than they think.
TO BE CONTINUED.
Schitt's Creek: Shake It Up
INT. ROSEBUD MOTEL LOBBY - DAY
David (looking irritated): What do you mean, you booked a wellness retreat for the weekend?!
Alexis: David, just relax. It's not like we're actually going anywhere. I organized this amazing weekend getaway right here in town.
David: What possible wellness is there to find in Schitt's Creek?!
Alexis: Rude, David. But if you must know, the new yoga instructor from Elmdale said she'd come here and help us unlock our inner peace.
David: When did this happen? Did I agree to this? Was anyone going to inform me about this?!
Alexis: Okay, David. You seriously need to calm down. I sent you a text yesterday, and you- Oh, I never hit send.
Alexis shows David her phone, revealing the unsent text message.
David (rolling his eyes): Well, that's just fantastic. MOM! DAD! Do you know anything about this wellness retreat we're supposedly having?!
INT. ROSEBUD MOTEL - JOHNNY AND MOIRA'S ROOM - DAY
Moira (overacting as usual): Alexis, darling! This is simply resplendent! Wherever did you find the Vim and Vigor from Elmdale?
Johnny: Moira, it's just a yoga instructor. Although I think it's a nice idea, hon. Lord knows we could all use a bit of relaxation.
David: Relaxation? Try telling that to Roland who's complaining to yet another customer about the roses. I'll be spending the weekend rolling out the red carpet for a scathing Yelp review.
Moira: Oh heavens! David, let us not be niggardly with inhospitable notions. This weekend of rejuvenation is just what our beleaguered spirits require.
David (sarcastically): Yes, how could I forget that Moira Rose now embraces wellness and a balanced chakra? It's just so genuine.
Rolland: Hey, everybody! Heard about the big hooha this weekend! I suppose I'll be staying over too (winks). Can't miss a good opportunity to stretch the ol' legs right?
Alexis: Well, Roland, the wellness retreat is more about self-discovery than it is stretching... but sure.
David (looking horrified): Oh my god, this is going to be a disaster.
TO BE CONTINUED
A Hometown Reunion
INT. ROSEBUD MOTEL LOBBY - DAY
David (pensively): I can't believe we're leaving Schitt's Creek. It feels like just yesterday we moved in.
Alexis (smirking): Um, David, you say that like it's a good thing.
Moira: My darlings, let us not dwell on the sorrow of our departure. Instead, let us focus on the forthcoming quinquennium.
Johnny (confused): Quinquennium?
Moira: Five-year plan, John. It's hifalutin couture parlance. Now, commence packing!
INT. CAFÉ TROPICAL - DAY
Jocelyn (approaching the table): Johnny! Moira! I heard the news. I can't believe you guys are leaving us.
Roland (smirking): Yeah, we're gonna miss seeing your faces around here.
Moira: Jocelyn, Roland, thank you for all that you've done for us. We shall never forget.
INT. ROSE APOTHECARY - DAY
Stevie (to David): So, are we doing anything special for your last day in town?
David: I just want a quiet night, you know? I think I've had enough excitement to last a lifetime.
Stevie: Yeah, that's probably for the best.
EXT. TOWN SQUARE - DAY
The Roses are surrounded by the townspeople, amidst a grand farewell party.
Moira (teary-eyed): I never imagined I'd grow so fond of this little town.
Johnny: It's been a wild ride, that's for sure.
Twyla (handing a tray of appetizers): Thank you all for coming to Café Tropical, like, all the time. I don't know what I'll do without my regulars!
Alexis (eating): Aw, Twy! You'll think of something! Like, remember when I didn't have a job or a boyfriend? Anything's possible!
David (deadpan): Thanks, Alexis. That's helpful.
TO BE CONTINUED.
A Creek-side Soiree
INT. ROSEBUD MOTEL - MORNING
Johnny and Moira are having breakfast at the motel.
JOHNNY: (reading a newspaper) There's a benefit gala happening at the Town Hall tonight. The proceeds go towards restoring the creek.
MOIRA: (sipping tea) A soirée, John? We absolutely must attend! It's been ages since I donned an elegant ensemble and dazzled the townsfolk.
JOHNNY: (smirking) And it would be great to give back to the community. We should invite the whole family.
INT. ROSE APOTHECARY - DAY
David is rearranging products on a shelf while Alexis tries on various face masks.
ALEXIS: How does this one make me look, David?
DAVID: Like a sea monster wearing aloe vera, Alexis.
Just then, Johnny and Moira enter.
MOIRA: Children, we have a tantalizing update! This town shall bear witness to a soirée tonight!
JOHNNY: We thought it'd be a good opportunity to do some family bonding and repay our fellow townspeople for their warm hospitality.
DAVID: I can attend if I close the store early. Does this mean I can wear my midnight black velvet suit with accent sequins?
MOIRA: Yes, David. Everyone should dress to impress.
EXT. TOWN HALL - NIGHT
The Rose family, dressed in their finest attire, walks up to the Town Hall, where colorful lights and music spill out onto the street.
MOIRA: (beaming) This is our moment, dear Roses. Let's make a splash!
INT. TOWN HALL - NIGHT
Upon entering, the Roses find the gala buzzing with excitement, with people dancing and chatting. They disperse to mingle.
Moira encounters Jocelyn, who is helping with the event.
MOIRA: Jocelyn! I simply adore these festive decorations. They're quite... quaint.
JOCELYN: (smiling) Thank you, Moira. I'm glad you could make it. Roland is around here somewhere...
Meanwhile, Johnny runs into Roland and Bob.
ROLAND: Johnny! You clean up well! We were beginning to think you weren't going to make it.
JOHNNY: Well, we don't pass up the chance to contribute to a good cause.
Bob notices a beautiful woman from the creek restoration committee.
BOB: (nudging Johnny) Isn't she something, Johnny?
JOHNNY: (smiling awkwardly) Yes, quite...something.
At the other side of the hall, David spots Patrick talking to a group of people.
DAVID: (approaching Patrick) You're here.
PATRICK: (smiling) I wouldn't miss it for the world. Besides, I'm supervising the silent auction. And you look great, by the way.
David blushes.
INT. TOWN HALL - LATER
Alexis, twirling on the dance floor, catches Ted's eye.
TED: Alexis! You look absolutely stunning.
ALEXIS: Thank you. Nice turtle, Ted!
TED: Ah, yes. It's part of my job promoting conservation efforts.
They start dancing as the rest of the Roses gather in a corner.
MOIRA: What a delightful evening! I may even share my keys to success with the committee.
DAVID: (eyeing the silent auction) Wait, what's that?
He notices a painting of 'Rose Apothecary' up for bid.
DAVID: The starting bid is awfully low. I must rectify this!
He rushes to the auction table.
TO BE CONTINUED.
Schitt's Creek: The Talent Show
INT. ROSEBUD MOTEL - DAY
*The Rose family is gathered around the table as Johnny reads the town newspaper.*
JOHNNY:
(looking at the newspaper)
Well, it looks like the town's got a big talent show coming up. Doesn't that sound fun?
MOIRA:
(scowling)
Decidedly not, John. We're already enough of a spectacle in this village.
DAVID:
Shall we, as a family, just agree to sit this one out? I feel like we've had our fill of involuntary comedy.
ALEXIS:
Okay, like, I might actually be into it. I did get a standing ovation at my high school talent show. Solo performance to Britney Spears...
*Moira gazes through the roof with a microscopic smile*
INT. CAFE TROPICAL - DAY
*The Rose family enters the diner and takes a seat at their favorite table.*
JOHNNY:
So, Twyla, what's the buzz around town about the talent show?
TWYLA:
Oh, everyone is so excited, Mr. Rose! I'm actually putting together a dance routine with my mom. She used to teach jazzercise.
DAVID:
(recalling a painful memory)
Oh, dear god. No, that mustn't happen...
*Moira suddenly perks up*
MOIRA:
Wait a minute... I see an opportunity here!
DAVID:
(dreading what's coming)
Oh no... we are absolutely not... Mom, stop. We are not doing it.
EXT. ROSEBUD MOTEL - DAY
*The Roses gather outside the motel, discussing the plan.*
JOHNNY:
So I'll handle the promotional side of things. I still have my marketing skills from my past endeavors. Knives, huh?
MOIRA:
I shall oversee the creative process. It's been a while since I've dabbled in the arts, and oh! what relief it may bring.
ALEXIS:
Umm, so, like, what do you want me to do?
JOHNNY:
Merchandising, Alexis. We need you to create some little knickknacks that we can sell to the locals.
DAVID:
And you want me to create the costumes. Of course.
*Moira squeals with excitement*
INT. ROSE APOTHECARY - DAY
*David and Stevie discuss costume ideas.*
DAVID:
Stevie, how do you feel about creating a costume that's simultaneously risque yet refined?
STEVIE:
I think you have me confused with your actual best friend. Clearly, that person is a sewing machine and not me.
DAVID:
Fair enough. But you have to admit, this could be an excellent marketing opportunity for the store.
*Just as Stevie is about to respond, they hear some heavy thuds and a loud crash. The audience giggles and watches as Alexis stumbles into the scene.*
INT. CAFE TROPICAL - DAY
*The town gathers to watch the rehearsals for the talent show.*
MAYOR ROLAND SCHITT:
(stammering)
Uhh... Hey, everyone! Welcome to this year's town talent show...
*The spotlight turns on, revealing a nervous Moira, dressed in her most fabulous outfit.*
MOIRA:
(singing)
Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the most glorious event of the year!
*The curtains draw back, revealing the Rose Family, each completely embellished in extravagant, glittering costumes. The audience gasps.*
TO BE CONTINUED
Schitt's Creek: A Delightful Misfortune
INT. ROSEBUD MOTEL - DAY
David and Alexis are within earshot of each other.
DAVID (mockingly):
Which matching outfit should I wear to the café today?
ALEXIS:
Uhm, excuse me, I happen to think I have an important launch to promote.
DAVID:
Right. Little Ms. Mismatched shoes strikes again.
Alexis looks down at her shoes and scoffs.
INT. CAFÉ TROPICAL - DAY
Johnny and Moira enter the crowded café, looking for Twyla. Twyla sees them and hurriedly approaches.
TWYLA:
Oh hey, Mr. and Mrs. Rose! What can I get for you today?
JOHNNY:
Well, Twyla, we were hoping to discuss a possible fundraiser for the town. We think it could really boost business for everyone and bring the community together.
MOIRA:
A delightful soiree for our little misfortuned town.
Twyla appears intrigued.
TWYLA:
That sounds wonderful. I'll talk to my mom and have a meeting with you later. We can discuss menus and everything. It's so exciting!
Moira receives a call and talks.
MOIRA (phone):
Oh, thank you, Alison. Good news for us, John.
Hung over, Stevie walks in. She smiles at Johnny and heads towards the coffee bar.
INT. ROSEBUD MOTEL - DAY
Patrick, a complete mess, shows up at the door of David’s room.
PATRICK:
David, do you have a moment? I kind of have something important to ask you.
DAVID (smirking):
Now, Patrick, that must really be important for you to leave the apartment looking like that.
PATRICK:
Yeah... so I lost my keys, and I was wondering if you could help me find them?
DAVID (laughing):
You left them at the store. Again. Remember, 'Patrick's Store'? It's becoming a thing now.
INT. ROSE APOTHECARY - DAY
David watches as Patrick finds his missing keys behind the register.
DAVID:
See? Happens to everyone, now let's get ready for this meeting with the café.
PATRICK:
Sure thing. David, we make a great team. It's amazing how far we've come since we first met here.
DAVID (smiling):
Well, you better not change that, Patrick. Or else...
INT. CAFÉ TROPICAL - EVENING
Johnny, Moira, Twyla, Patrick, and David are sitting and discussing the arrangements for the fundraiser. Alexis walks in, still trying to sort her shoes.
ALEXIS:
The meeting could've waited till I found socks, you know?
DAVID (rolling his eyes):
Oh, please. Sit down, Alexis. The longer we wait, the harder it gets.
The group begins to share ideas for the fundraiser. The townspeople are excited and enthusiastic about their collective efforts, while the Roses are working to adapt to their newfound role in the community.
TO BE CONTINUED
A Creek Reunion
INT. ROSEBUD MOTEL - DAY
DAVID (standing behind the motel counter, stressed, reading a letter): So, the Schitt family is doing their biannual reunion, here, this Saturday and we're expected to attend!
ALEXIS (dramatically): Ew, David. Is it necessary for us to go?
DAVID: Apparently they expect the whole town to attend. They've booked out every available room in the motel.
JOHNNY (sarcastic): Well, that's just great.
MOIRA (unenthusiastically): Family gatherings! My achilles heel.
INT. TOWN HALL - DAY
Jocelyn holds a clipboard, marking attendance as people of the town file in.
MUTT: Why did they invite everyone?
JOCELYN (smiling): Well, that's just how the Schitts are. The more the merrier!
INT. ROSEBUD MOTEL - DAY
David, Alexis, Johnny, and Moira start planning their outfits for the big event.
DAVID: I don't even know where to begin with wardrobe planning for this.
ALEXIS: Why don't we go shopping at the Blouse Barn? I heard they have a sale on unreturned items.
DAVID (terrified): Oh, how... whimsical.
INT. CAFÉ TROPICAL - DAY
TWYLA (chatting to patrons): What are you planning to do for the reunion?
MRS. TOWNSEND: I'm making my famous potato salad, of course.
INT. ROSE APOTHECARY - DAY
David and Stevie are rearranging products when Patrick enters.
PATRICK: I heard about the Schitt family reunion. What are you thinking of wearing?
DAVID (rolling his eyes): Honestly, I have no idea. It's not like there are high fashion options here.
STEVIE: Why don't you just wear something from your own store?
EXT. ROSEBUD MOTEL - DAY
The Roses, dressed in their best attempts at casual wear, prepare to head to the reunion.
JOHNNY: Well, are we all set to go?
MOIRA: I suppose this is as good as it's going to get, John.
ALEXIS: I don't know why I'm so nervous!
DAVID: Yeah, let's just hope we survive the day.
EXT. TOWN PARK - DAY
The whole town has gathered for the Schitt family reunion. Games, potluck, and small talk are in full swing.
DAVID (whispering to Stevie): Imagine having such an extravagant, public family gathering.
STEVIE (laughing): I know, right?
TO BE CONTINUED
